When I thought I was in heaven

My eyes were shut but I can still see a light. A ball of light that was so bright. It leads to a path that was not known to me. This is when I thought I was in heaven.          When I opened my eyes, first thing I saw was a television turned on. July 13, 2009, the clock’s hands also indicate that it was 6 pm, an earth time. At last, the operations done. I think I am back to my world... I am alive for the second time.

           

I was brought back to a room , I saw my mother and the rest of my family looking at me. They were smiling, I thought they were my angels that welcomed me to heaven and their face were just borrowed from my memory… but my mom cried so I just told myself, “ she’s really my mom ”. I couldn’t stop myself to say something. But they waved their hands meaning I should not talk.

           

Time stopped for me. I don’t know what happened I guess I was knocked out and my consciousness was also taken. My mind is not functioning. That time I don’t know if I dreamt something. It was just a plain black image. I was awakened by the sudden pain I felt. I held on my pillow so hard. My mom suddenly called the doctor.

“I’m done with this right but why it comes back” those are just words that I am thinking.

 The nurse came and she saw me. She got something, it was a pain reliever. It was injected on the dextrose. She said that the anesthesia’s effect was gone. The pain subsided. Maybe that’s the trigger for my consciousness to come back. Suddenly the memories of my experiences rushed out, my soul felt all those different feelings again. It’s like nostalgia, a flashback of my life.

When the world welcomed me on the 30^th of October, when my mom and dad, Connie and Hidulfo held me in their arms, The childhood days when I felt joy and contentment because I think I could not ask for more. Things I need are all lying in front of me, the time that I joined and triumphed in competitions and so much friends, recognition and lessons I have encountered and treasured. All the things that I experienced were pleasant and perfect.

 I never thought that after those sweet fairytales, I will bump into something this hard and everything is at stake.. I continue to ask myself…why?? Why?? It ended like this?

That time I felt like crying and the sad setting of the hospital added to this solitude the opposite of trees, cool wind, colorful images and smiling faces.

I was thinking that time, what will happen to me when I come out. Would I change school? Can I still join competitions, Will I still have the confidence and the intelligence I have before?

It was after 6 days I can go home, I hope that I would never come back again. We rode our tricycle and my father started driving. I am looking outside, feeling the air, I realized that before it was just so normal to me, but now, I feel that I am longing for it. The pictures of houses are still the same but I enjoyed viewing them as we travel.

When we got home, my mom fixed my place, so that I could sleep well. She took care of me properly. She always does. Out of the blue, I asked my mom. “Ma, why do you think this happened to me?”

She jus smiled and said. These are challenges; God is just making the strong out of you. He would never forsake you, he sent many guardian angels to help you out. You just don’t notice.

I suddenly remembered the people who suddenly came like the doctors that were unexpected to pass the corridor and check me up. The people who before stayed with me, helped me smile and be myself. They are my angels on earth.

The saying is true that when the thing is gone, that’s when you will realize its worth. I was dumbfounded of the simple beauties of my life. In this I recognize that I always overlook. Even though I have many happy experiences I have found out that if I looked at them with a clearer spectacle, then I may have been happier and understand more the meaning of joy.

Also, God gives many challenges for us to wake up. Imagine this, story of Juan Tamad, because he was not woken up and he’s lazy to stand, he was buried under the ground. If no one will tap us, then our lives will just be useful only as fertilizer in the land.

Now... I have seen the world again but with much improvement, I am doing my best to make everything beautiful and learning on this lessons I have picked. These experiences made me stronger and give importance with my life because He has given me another chance to have rose-colored glasses.

Even now, I can say that I am also in heaven here, even I encounter many challenges I still see many angels and I know the everlasting happiness.

                                           

                                 

                                                              smile!!!